Here you will find issues which are very personal to me.

Things I do not talk about,yet somehow need to let go of.

In no certain order you will be taken back in time,

as I try to face the old ghost from my childhood that still haunt me.

Writting in this journal will not be easy,

But somehow I think it might help heal old wounds.

The postings here will be emotional,and long.

If you choose to read my entries,feel free to do so,

And maybe...

if ever in your life you have faced similar issues you might

find some comfort in knowing that your not alone.

These issues are mainly about my mom...who was always both physically and emotionally abusive....

However I want to say that,I love my mom,she is a good person....

And I treasure every moment...good or bad that we share together.

Sometimes I wonder why I dont hate her....most people would.

I dont hate my mother....I hate the things she has said and done to me,and still does to this day.

My feelings are a mixture of love,pain and confusion....

I'll never understand why she thought I deserved such treatment....

Or why the words "Im Sorry" have never left her lips...

Although someday it would mean the world to me if she would say it...I dont ever think she will...Because in her mind she was justified....in my mind....there are many scars in need of closure.

Like I mentioned,these posting will be rather long,so if you want to

join me and read them,get comfortable,and settle in for a ride

back in time...to the world of a little girl who saw,heard and felt more

pain than most people endure in a lifetime.